


When It Began

by lungthief



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, First Kiss, Flashback, HELLA CLICHES !, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, that one scene where steve and nat are in the car, u kno the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:57:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lungthief/pseuds/lungthief
Summary: The one time Natasha gets Steve to open up. Sort of.





	When It Began

“Who was your first kiss, anyway?” Natasha asked, her usually carefree voice tinged with genuine curiosity. Steve couldn’t blame her. Not many people knew.

“It was…” He trailed off. Not many people knew for a reason. He trusted Nat, but this was something he never talked about.

“Huh?”

He could feel her eyes boring into him. His gaze was steady on the road.

“Bucky.” He replied after a moment of silence. “My first kiss was Bucky.”

“Really?” Nat didn’t sound nearly as surprised as he thought she’d be. Maybe he didn’t give her enough credit. 

“Really.”

“Wasn’t that, you know, illegal back then?”

“Wasn’t illegal if you didn’t get caught.” Steve made a point of keeping his voice from wavering. It had been over seventy years since that night, but something about it made him feel like a teenager again. 

“So how’d it happen?”

 

* * *

 

_Steve heard the door to the small apartment open from his place on the rickety fire escape. He rolled his eyes. The summer sun had set over Brooklyn hours ago. It wasn’t like Bucky to stay out this late. Steve had busied himself with a bottle of whiskey, as he often did when Bucky wasn’t around to chide him for it._

_“Steve?” Bucky was calling him. By the cadence of his voice and his footfalls, it seemed that Steve wasn’t alone in being slightly tipsy. He stubbornly decided not to answer, adjusting his position as he leaned over the railing._

_“Oh, you’re out here.” Bucky climbed out of the window onto the small landing, his smile fading as Steve turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?”_

_Steve turned away again._

_“Listen, pal, I wasn’t gone for that long. I saw Evie again and she asked me I wanted to go for a walk in the park and share some bourbon. You know how insistent she can be, and I wasn’t gonna say no to_ Evie—“ 

_“Did she kiss you?”Steve asked coldly._

_Bucky hesitated._

_“Yes.”_

_Steve scoffed._

_“Oh, do you not like Evie now? Because all of those stories that Billy Duncan told about her are_ not _true—“_

_“I don’t give a damn about Evie, Buck.”_

_“Then why are you mad?”_

_Steve finally looked at Bucky again. “Everything comes so easy to you._ Everything. _You’re handsome and you’re smart and all of the girls love you. I’ve never even kissed anyone. Do you know any fella our age who hasn’t had his first kiss yet?”_

_Steve sighed, turning his gaze back to the stars over the city. He felt Bucky put his arm around his shoulders._

_“Pal, you’re special. There ain’t a guy on earth like you. You’re talented and you’re kind and have you looked in a mirror? Any gal would be lucky to have you,” Bucky turned towards Steve, his had sliding down to hold Steve’s wrist. “Besides,” He whispered, his eyes twinkling in a way Steve had never seen before, “if you want someone to kiss you so bad, you could’ve asked me.”_

_Steve stared at Bucky, his eyes widening. He had suddenly become extremely aware of his hands, and was searching for a sign that Bucky was joking, but there was none. Overcome with some spontaneous bravery, Steve moved closer._

_“Then kiss me.”_

_And Bucky did._

_It was slow and unsure at first. Steve could barely understand what was happening, and yet everything seemed right. The only thing that he knew was that he never wanted it to end. Bucky tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. He was familiar. He felt like home. Steve’s heart rate quickened and something compelled him to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair. They eventually broke apart, and Steve thought Bucky’s face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. They stared at each other for a moment. Bucky then turned to look at the sky, which was pitch black, dotted with lights from long dead stars._

_“It’s late.” He said gruffly._

_Steve nodded, incapable of forming words or even coherent thoughts._

_“I’d better go to bed.” Steve nodded again._

_Bucky climbed back through the window, disappearing into the apartment._

_Steve never talked about it again._

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha stayed quiet for a while longer. After a few moments, she spoke again. 

“Your life really is one big tragedy, huh, Rogers?”

Steve laughed wryly. “You could say that.”

“I can see why you want him back so badly, though.”

“When I woke up, I thought I had lost everyone I had ever loved. I thought he was dead when I went under, and Peggy, well, Peggy lived a whole life without me. She got married. She had kids. There is a part of me that still loves her, but I’m glad she moved on. I know she’d want the same for me.

“When I saw Bucky’s face again on that bridge, it was like the whole world stopped. It was like this piece of me that was missing had finally been found.” Steve pauses. “Do you think he’ll ever remember me?”

Natasha continued to stare out the window. “I don’t know.”

They stayed silent for a moment before Natasha spoke again.

“Are you in love with him?”

Steve says nothing. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ao3 post ever so i hope u enjoy!!!! steve's a big ol softie and so am i. first love is always fun to write.


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